i permit you to call me
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
