I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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