So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
