You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
