i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
