Its about making memories worth repressing
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
my liver is dry heaving
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
