You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
