So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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