it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Randomize
