Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
