I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
