i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
