I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
