I'm eating all of the evidence.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
