remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Pants are for mortals
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
