Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
