somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
