Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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