You work out of a Hotel?
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
