My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
