In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
