All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
being pregnant is like rehab
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
