I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
