You're completely useless in the revolution.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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