sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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