I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
