So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
did you just send me my own nude
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
