i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
