It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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