Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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