Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
