So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
