i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
It's blow job season.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
