they need to just BURY HIM!
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
