i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
