Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Text me some of your sweat
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
