Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
