I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
