Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
