She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
