i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
