so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I think weed is turning my hair brown
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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