All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
