In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
