Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
