There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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