so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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