i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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