If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
