I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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