i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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