watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
